Joey Drelich Funeral Reflection
Rev. Amy Lincoln
Gospel Matthew 5:1–10
Feb. 4, 2020
Life is fragile. I have learned this in a new way over the past two weeks. Being devastated at the news of Joey’s hospitalization, praying fervently along with so many others for his healing and strength for his family, and then hearing that his body and mind would not be able to recover. It has been an awful journey.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Life is fragile. I know this because in the short time I’ve known Joey – just over a year – he was in the Confirmation Class that I taught with 13 other young people – all incredibly talented people - showing me without a doubt that our future is in good hands.
I distinctly remember that Joey was the first one in the class to come and meet individually with me about the Statement of Faith they each had to write. While some procrastinated – as many of us often do – Joey came running over with his typed up in his phone and he proudly shared it with me. In it he wrote, “Anyone can say the words, “I believe in God” but in those words alone, there holds no meaning… He then quoted Matthew 6:5 – "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.” And Joey went on to write “you can say one thing, but your actions are what truly matters. I strive to be a loving, kind, and accepting Christian, that is always ready to extend a hand to someone in need.”
And just in this last year I’ve seen him live that faith. Going on the Volunteer in Mission work trip in Maine last summer when more than 25 of us went up to Maine to help do home repairs for people in need. Joey gave up a week of his summer to work – hard – as part of a group; he gave of himself putting his faith into action to help others. His parents also tell me that he emptied his own wallet as he passed a homeless person on the street in the city. Joey cared about the well-being of other people. He was keenly aware of those around him – and our society – who are hurting and struggling and crying out for help.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.”
Many of us in this room have offered Joey guidance, encouragement, teaching, support, and friendship – especially his parents who filled him up with self-confidence and surrounded him with love. In fact, every night his mother tucks Joey and Grace and Michael into bed saying the words on the front cover of the bulletin “Sleep Sweet, My Babies.”
Joey though was like a broken ceramic cup – you’d fill him up, but it the support, encouragement, and love would leak back out again quickly through the crack.
And so that is why on this day many of us are feeling anguish - just pure sorrow for how this kind-hearted kid with so much life to live found himself in a place of such despair.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
The Joey I knew was bright, interesting, confident, funny, and helpful. He was a confirmed church member, an active scout, a high school freshman, a hockey player, a beloved son and big brother.
And so many of us come here tonight feeling heartbroken, asking HOW CAN WE MAKE IT STOP? We come with a sense of powerlessness about how to help broken people feel loved. Life is fragile.
Depression and anxiety are real diseases – that often run in families – and that wreak havoc on a growing number of lives. It touches my own life closely.
Talking honestly to others about the struggle can often help stave off the isolation. If we can just take off our masks that help us pretend to have it all together –and be real with each other – we could see the reality that not one of us has a perfect life – we all struggle and face obstacles and feel left out sometimes. So, we can start by getting real with each other, sharing our stories and staying connected to support each other.
Let’s also resolve to find balance in our lives. Making it a priority to have time to rest and renew ourselves instead of going 100 miles per hour with school and work and activities and appointments and competitions and grades and pushing and pushing and achieving, so that there is nothing left of our souls.
EVEN GOD RESTED – remember that in the creation story – on the seventh day –
EVEN GOD RESTED and commands us to do so as well. Honor the Sabbath.
We must STOP - taking a break regularly to reset our bodies and minds – to reflect – to renew – to just be and to remember who we are. Let’s take care of ourselves – be good to ourselves – instead of running ragged, which is celebrated in our culture that glorifies constant production and striving and staying busy. Those lies deplete us! NO – lean toward what is life-giving and take time to rest!
To Joe and Betsy, the love and support of this room surrounds you now, and in the weeks ahead. This room, full of friends and family and people who care, is a testament to how you live your lives. Be good to yourselves – do things you enjoy – take time for each other – celebrate your beautiful children and cry with each other.
To Grace and Michael, I am so sorry you are going through this sorrow. Please remember to help take care of each other – I know it’s not always easy to get along as siblings – but please remember to lean on each other now that your big brother is in heaven.
To family and friends – the greatest testimony to God’s goodness, and the blessing of Joey’s light and life here tonight, is the tremendous outpouring of prayer, texts, calls, cards, food and gifts - and your presence here -that have been offered to his family with love; They are so grateful.
And, of course, the gift of life which Joey has made of his two kidneys and his liver through the NJ Sharing Network, in order to help three strangers, continue theirs. Yes, Life is fragile and
God can and does work good out of the most awful times –
Christians remember the grief of Good Friday after Jesus died – and the despair of the disciples thinking that was the end of the story – and then we think of the surprise ending – the glorious plot twist – the hope of Easter and Jesus’ resurrection to new life!
We will miss Joey terribly. And God has him now – in his everlasting arms of love – where is has been met with grace and has found peace and satisfaction. And God will walk with each of us in the days and weeks ahead to strengthen and support us.
Hold onto hope, for it is in Christ that we have the assurance of sweet reunion in heaven. I do believe one day we will see Joey again and he will be his bright, silly, full of kindness and light-self that we know and love and remember.
In the meantime, let Joey’s love and light live on in your daily life – by watching out for each other – being good to each other – for in the end, all that matters is love. Amen.